Teen Stress -- Parents and Teenagers with Stress

There are many circumstances within today's society that bring on teen stress. Surprisingly, biggest stressors known are the parents of the teenager. Parents don't necessarily cause stress, as for teens are certainly capable of leading an independent and responsible life. But that's part of the problem. Independence and responsibility usually require the freedom to exercise these facets of life. However things start to get a little confusing when teens are given too much freedom, no freedom, or a mix of the two in at puzzling places and times.

For example, sending a teen alone to make adult choices in a multifaceted culture seemingly asks for stress. In most cases, teens are frustrated from being placed in a situation between, "I have to, but I'm not allowed to," and the end result is often, "I'm not allowed to."

Is it reasonable to expect a fourteen year old to know how to handle situations that often confuse adults? Is it reasonable to expect the same fourteen year old to know how to handle the same situations without any help? Hardly any of us at that age were capable of handling the circumstances we're faced with today and certainly none of us were born knowing how to earn a living or raise children.

On the other hand, teens aren't children either. They may not have the full knowledge or capabilities of an adult, but they are developing a keen sense of the world and how it works. They can and are often eager to step toward independent living but when that opportunity is stifled, they don't get the proper experiences to solve problems and learn from mistakes.

It shouldn't be too surprising to learn that the end result is stressful. Total independence puts teens in the position of making decisions and solving problems that they aren't ready for and the treatment of no independence at all fails teens their significant lessons in life.

It's easy to recognize when a teen is placed within this stressor because nature compels them to complain. They'll protest that they never get their way or that they're old enough to make their own decision. Some parents will take over a situation and deny teens the opportunity to act out on the independence that they crave while others will allow teens all the freedom they want with no restraint or guidance.

Neither of these approaches to a teen's cry for growth is appropriate and knowing what to do and when to do it can be a challenge in itself. There are some things however that teens can do themselves to alleviate both their own stress and the stress of their parents.

Keeping in mind the fact that teens are not yet adults (or children), they can behave in a way that demonstrates they can act independently along with the guidance of adults. Most parents would be more than happy to offer advice to a teen that actually follows it and most teens would enjoy having parental guidance (not supervision) as a reliable and trustworthy help source.

The more practice teens get at demonstrating responsible independent behavior, the less stressful it becomes. There's enough stress that accompanies independence in the first place, but practice is the key component that teaches them appropriate ways to cope with that stress. Once accomplished, teens become confident -- a crucial step for their growth and adult life.

Teens can develop some skills of responsibility and independence from opportunities in school, social relationships, and at home. Failures are to be expected, but when teens persist and continue to improve their skills, they'll ultimately become the responsible and independent adults that they strive to be.

On the side of the parents: patience, constant communication and guidance with your teenager in the name of the game to deal with teen stress.

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